Going on internet dates is hard enough, but I go through a whole rig-marole (if that’s how you spell it) of getting ready, deciding I don’t want to go, forcing myself to go, convincing myself its going to be awful, finding it isn’t awful, falling in love on the first date and planning our wedding and the names of our children, wondering why he isn’t texting me back, ignoring him myself – you don’t have to tell me how much of a nightmare I am, I know already…
Anyway, here are some observations I have made from the hours spent browsing the site, and the dates I have been on; 1) I am a snob when it comes to the selection of a potential partner.
You know the bubble is going to pop; the real fun is in never knowing when or why.
So, I decided (like we peeps with BPD do) that free wasn’t good enough, so upgraded to the premium all-out service.
So far I have been on a few dates, the first one I went on ended with me giving him a blow job, then hating myself for about 3 weeks as he wouldn’t reply to my texts and I felt used and abandoned by this man that clearly should ‘love’ me, the second there just wasn’t a spark, the third I ended up sleeping with but it was a complete fuck up (I might cover this in another post) and the fourth went really well until I suddenly decided I didn’t like him because he was shorter than me.
Access to lived examples via blogs and social media means people are chipping away at stigmas every day.
On the other, more chilling hand, a constant feed of experiences means interpretations of illness can be easily warped.