Victoria Yates, 40, is a senior crown prosecutor from Saddleworth, Manchester.She is married to David, and they have two sons, Jamie, nine, and Luke, seven.I could feel David’s arm around me, but I couldn’t hear what the doctor was saying.I couldn’t stop thinking, “I’ve got two little boys and this is the worst thing that could happen.” As the months went on I realised, “No, it’s not: the worst thing that could happen is that this could happen to Jamie or Luke.” Then I thought, “That’s what’s happened to my mother.This post is specifically for them–to put a rather uncomfortable subject out there because so many of my survivor-friends face these same challenges, and I want them to know they are not alone.When I was first diagnosed and during and after all of my treatment I was dating someone.I am in a support group of young breast cancer survivors.For the most part, we are all in our 20s and 30s and have a significantly different view on cancer than our older, but equal, survivor sister counterparts that are 40 and above.
Some may find it important to share their experience; others would just as soon never bring up cancer again. Golby offers the following advice to help cancer patients and survivors answer some of the questions they may have about dating.
A good friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer a month after I was and I was, therefore, the guinea pig in our relationship.
I would go through a particular phase of treatment right before she would so I would tell her all the horror stories of what to prepare for and expect.
A decent amount of these beautiful young women have husbands and families and they were their source of strength and courage during their battles.
A number of us, however, are single and have to face the inevitable truth that we have to find our husbands (or, let’s get real, even a date) post-breast cancer and, for many of us, post-mastectomy.